last night i was thinking of all the things that i wanted to do... some things seem easier than others.. good grades.. coach soccer.. get the wave to be a successful club *

*sidenote.. I just became the director of coaching for the Warsaw Wave soccer club high school division (Wave FC)... i'm probably not qualified enough to do it.. and by probably not.. i mean theres no way I am... but i'll work just as hard as it as anyone else would.. and i have some good ideas.. so either deserving it or not.. i'm gonna do the best I can...

start doin jiu jitsu.. and the last thing I thought of was getting involved in church and getting closer to God.. now I don't really read the bible anymore.. i pray so i have a relationship with God.. and i know it is me not him, im not blaming God.. i'm grateful that he is continuing to pull on my heart closer to him even if i am pulling away.. I took for granted the time I was at Grace was I was spiritually challenged.. I was hot and cold when i was at Grace but now I don't know what I am.. I'm not hot, so i guess i'm cold? and I'm content with that right now? But I dont think i am because if I were I wouldn't be feeling so far away and such a need for him in my life. I was reading a devotion today and it said something like, Are you preparing to meet God? I know it sucks to think about death because I don't want to die and whoever is reading this right now probably doesn't want to die..(if you do i'm in grad school to be a counselor hit me up and we'll talk about it).. but the fact is we are going too.. and right now i am not preparing myself to meet God at all. . .I just keep thinking about if I had a friend that I never talked to and didn't share anything with, really didn't know anything about them and I was going to visit them I probably would not be to excited to see them.. It would be nice to see them, but I really wouldn't be excited. But if it was someone I had a amazing relationship with and I talked to all the time and they were my role model and I looked up too them so much and I knew they loved me like crazy and was always there for me I would be freakin excited to go see that person.. I want to be freaking excited to go see God... but honestly.. in awhile.. not right now.. that sounds terrible .. so in that comment did I just pick this world over God? tricky subject.. geesh.

and i need to be having a strong ace relationship with God for the fact that i am going into a career where I need to love and show compassion to people from all walks of life facing all different struggles. And to be dead honest if I am sitting in that rooms with that person just relying on myself then I am going to fail.. (its not about solving problems at all) but if I don't have God helping me then its over..

and have you ever thought about that passage about when the paralized man's friends took him to Jesus and Jesus said, 'because of their faith you are healed.'... because of their faith.... someone was healed... i think about that and think about all the friends i have that are not saved.. or different things that need so much prayer and I go play video games... geez... like right now..

I need to get involved.. and spend some time with God every single day... i need too.

i tried to put something on here.. but it didn't work

I'm tired today I dont know why though.. I really don't do much

I like the whole counseling thing but the whole ethics and legal issue thing is pretty crazy... I can get sued for just about anything... if someone thinks I give them false memories... if someone tries to commit suicide and fails they can sue me for their injuries... if someone does commit suicide I can get sued... I mean I can take steps to keep the blame off me for their actions but they can still try... That I didn't do enough to keep them for commiting suicide... I just think its crazy how much trouble I can get into for someone elses actions... I wanted to be a counselor to be able to help people but there are the people out there that will absolutely take advantage of that...

Fall break made me realize that I don't really want to be in school...

i kinda of want to start focusing on soccer... and training people... and building up the club.. but i dont know how much I could make.. I'd like to do that for a living.. but I don't think I could survive... but i could grow my hair out as long as I wanted and have a huge beard...

so there was this coach of this small town football team. everything in this town was about football so this coach was the man. he spent all his time with the program watching game film and all that. his assistant coaches would always try to get him to go out and do something other than football. week after week his coaches asked him to go hunting with him. every week the head coach would say no. finally after weeks of bothering the head coach, he gave in. he told his assistant coach "I know a parent on the team that owns a lot of land, he told me if I ever wanted to hunt it I could just let him know." so the head coach and the assistant coach planned a morning to go hunting. The morning came around and the head coach picked up the assistant coach in his truck. he drove out too the parents land and head coach went up too the door. "Hey you told me if I ever wanted to hunt all I had to do was come out and I could go hunting on your land" the parent was honored to have the coach at his house and he told the coach "absolutly coach! its an honor to have you here.. i'll letting you hunt on my land.. all I ask is one favor." the coach thinking there would be a catch replied "a favor? what would that be" the parent replied "well you see we have this old horse and it has been a great horse over the years but it is getting old and it just wasn't been doing well. I don't want to put it down myself so I was wondering if you would do that for me" the coach really didn't want too... but the parent kept insisting that the coach would do this for him. The coach agreed to do this favor for the parent.. on the way back to the truck he realized that the assistant coach had no idea what had just happened so he decided to mess with him....

the coach walked to the car looking pissed off.. he slammed the door and said "I can't believe that guy!" the assistant coach was confused started asking questions... the head coach started telling the assistant what had 'happened' "the guy started cussin at me calling me names telling me to get off his property.. I dont even know what I did.. but you know what I'm going to do to him..?" the assistant after hearing this is also pissed off because he thinks the world of the head coach... the assistant coach said "no! what are you going to do!?" the head coach knowing he had the assistant right where he wanted him said, "I'm going to kill that guys horse..." the assistant looked shocked. The head coach pulled up to the gate just like the owner of the property had told him too... he got out of the truck and the assistant also got out. The head coach took aim at the horse and fired...a few seconds later the coach heard 2 more shots.... the head coach started looking around.. and from around the barn the assistant coach came running screaming "I got his goat and cow!! Lets go! Lets go!"

i dont like that when i type in vocab words that i need to know for tests on my mac.. it doesn't even show that it is a real word. So pretty much i'm learning a fake word.

BUT i like my mac

i dont like that different coffeeshops call there sizes different names... why can't there just be a standard name for all the sizes?

BUT i do love coffee

I'm in grad school now. dont know why sometimes. i feel more like im the one that needs it. and instead of feeling i know.